To say the time preceding the wedding had been rather tense to this point would be akin to describing a battleship as a tug; it doesn’t do it justice. The groom’s ex-wife was causing problems with the new wife, a petite girl half the groom’s age, the chapel they were set to marry in had burned to the ground under suspicious circumstances, and at the last minute, someone called the caterer, using the bride’s name, and ordered a complete change of the menu two days before the wedding reception.
The groom was furious, the bride was in hiding, both families were busy accusing the other of sabotage, and the ex-wife was opening a betting pool for how long the newlyweds would last. But the groom could not be deterred, and improvised. The location of the wedding was moved to a local park, the ex-wife was told to shut up, and the guests were informed that the main course had been shifted to barbecued hamburgers.
The day of the wedding arrived, and the ex-wife had managed to get in with another guest. At the point of objections to the union being requested, the groom’s entire family, and even the pastor, locked eyes on her. She merely looked around casually, as if she hadn’t noticed the question. The bride and groom kissed, and the marriage was finalized.
It was at the reception that the next crisis unfolded: the caterers had been informed at the last minute that the wedding had been cancelled, apparently by the bride’s mother. The bride ran from the hall, wailing at the injustice of it all. In fact, all but the groom left the hall, with him sitting in his chair, completely bewildered.
The groom decided that with everything else that had gone wrong over the last few weeks, no one would care if he grabbed a slice of cake. Though originally deterred by the smell of bitter almonds, a sure sign the cake was topped with his least favorite confection, marzipan, his stomach eventually won out. As he chewed the first piece, he suddenly felt a wave of vertigo as a headache slammed hard through his skull, and he collapsed to the floor, having difficulty breathing. As he felt the life drain out of him, he remembered a story he had once heard that the smell of almonds was also associated with hydrogen cyanide.
The groom was furious, the bride was in hiding, both families were busy accusing the other of sabotage, and the ex-wife was opening a betting pool for how long the newlyweds would last. But the groom could not be deterred, and improvised. The location of the wedding was moved to a local park, the ex-wife was told to shut up, and the guests were informed that the main course had been shifted to barbecued hamburgers.
The day of the wedding arrived, and the ex-wife had managed to get in with another guest. At the point of objections to the union being requested, the groom’s entire family, and even the pastor, locked eyes on her. She merely looked around casually, as if she hadn’t noticed the question. The bride and groom kissed, and the marriage was finalized.
It was at the reception that the next crisis unfolded: the caterers had been informed at the last minute that the wedding had been cancelled, apparently by the bride’s mother. The bride ran from the hall, wailing at the injustice of it all. In fact, all but the groom left the hall, with him sitting in his chair, completely bewildered.
The groom decided that with everything else that had gone wrong over the last few weeks, no one would care if he grabbed a slice of cake. Though originally deterred by the smell of bitter almonds, a sure sign the cake was topped with his least favorite confection, marzipan, his stomach eventually won out. As he chewed the first piece, he suddenly felt a wave of vertigo as a headache slammed hard through his skull, and he collapsed to the floor, having difficulty breathing. As he felt the life drain out of him, he remembered a story he had once heard that the smell of almonds was also associated with hydrogen cyanide.
1 comment:
Nice story. I'm curious about the life of the ex-wife... hmmmm...interesting :)
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